Forever
by Sharn-sharn
Summary: She said they would be together forever. He believed her. What happens when she breaks that promise?


**This is to get me back into writing again because it's been a while. It's kind of weird but I got inspired and wrote most of it in one sitting.**

 **. . .**

There is a butterfly.

Dawnkit attempts to catch it. She rises _all the way_ up onto her hind legs and bats at it with her paws. I stare at her, transfixed, because it looks _so difficult_ , and she's _actually_ getting it.

I wouldn't be able to do it.

I am too small; in fact, I am small, pudgy, and _grey_.

Lionkit _hates_ that. He hates _me_.

Why does he hate me?

I wouldn't know. Sometimes cats hate each other for stupid reasons, none of which I'll mention; except, well, the fact that Lionkit hates me because I'm _ugly_.

I know I'm ugly. Lionkit doesn't need to rub it in my face all the time. Though _Dawnkit_ doesn't think that I'm ugly. She calls me _tiny_ and _pretty_. Lionkit says that my eyes are too big and my ears are too small. Dawnkit says that my eyes are wide and blue, and that my ears have a nice, tapered point.

We're friends, Dawnkit and I.

She says that she loves me all the time. I say it back. _All the time_.

She's the only other kit my age. The rest of them are either like Lionkit or mewling for milk.

I can never imagine _Dawnkit_ mewling for milk. She's too big and beautiful for that; her fur is golden-brown- just like Lionkit's, in fact- and her eyes are bright amber. She reminds me of the leaves that fall from the trees in the camp. It's leaf-fall right now.

My foster-mother tells me that leaf-fall is the prelude to the worst season in a cycle- leafbare. She says it's so cold and that many kits die from starvation. I hope that _I_ don't die from starvation; after all, I _am_ still a kit.

By now, Dawnkit's back on all paws, staring at me with a sullen look on her face. She's lost the butterfly. The look on her face makes me laugh.

She glares at me, then releases a short, sharp sigh. Ah, she's like that. Curt, I mean. _Very_ curt.

I'm pretty sure that Lionkit has a crush on her, but she doesn't like other cats like that. She only loves them. I know that she doesn't love Lionkit; she loves me, though. She tells me every day.

Dawnkit seems so put out that she lost the butterfly; she loves butterflies, doesn't she?

"Do you love butterflies, Dawnkit?" I ask.

She looks confused, then scrunches her face up. "No," she answers, and there's a venom in her voice- almost as if she's _disgusted_. "I don't love it because it got away. I _hate_ it when they get away."

I nod. "Uh huh."

She smiles. "I love you, Stormkit," she says in that sweet tone of voice that she only uses with me.

I smile back. "I love you, too, Dawnkit." Because it's the truth, and _I mean every single word._

Dawnkit hums, rocking back and forth on her paws. The movement fascinates me, and I fix my eyes on her. She suddenly stops, her golden amber eyes staring into mine.

"What?" she mumbles, her voice so soft that I have to strain to hear.

I cock my head to the side. "You remind me of a… a _butterfly_."

Her eyes widen to the size of the fresh-kill pile. "But- But I _hate_ butterflies," she splutters.

And the sight of her so incredulous, so _disgusted_ , makes my lips curl up.

Dawnkit sees it, of course. She never misses _anything_ , that cat. "Why are you _smiling?_ " she accuses. Immediately, my face falls, though Dawnkit seems to take that as a form of my 'guilt'. "You _were_ smiling! Don't try to deny it, Stormkit. You made fun of me and you thought it was _funny_."

Now, it's _my_ turn to stare at her incredulously. "What are you _talking_ about?" I say, my voice soft. "I only called you a butterfly because you remind me of one. I _never_ made fun of you. You're beautiful, Dawnkit, so why would I _ever_ make fun of you?"

Her lips tremble, torn between wanting to frown or be amused endlessly. Personally, I think she's a little flattered.

Dawnkit suddenly stands up. At her full height, she towers over me. She's a huge, breathing ball of energy and warm fire.

She's mine.

I decide that because it's simple. She loves me, and I love her. What else can come between us?

"Would you make a promise with me, Butterfly?" I ask, and I deliberately use the name of the creature that she hates so much.

Dawnkit starts, as if I've shocked her. Then, she cocks her head to the side, pursing her lips, her eyes hooded in thought.

She gives a barely imperceptible nod, then mutters, "And _don't_ call me that."

I just shake my head, my lips quirking.

"Do you promise to be together _forever?_ " I ask, completely serious.

The question seems to throw her off for a bit, but her eyes narrow a second later.

Her voice is strong when she answers.

"I promise, Stormkit."

And I nod, because I know that she's speaking the truth.

It's simple. She loves me. I love her. We'll be together forever.

 **. . .**

Dawnkit is sleeping.

I know that because she's lying directly opposite me. She's on her side, with her legs splayed out in front of her and her belly rising and falling.

Rowankit won't stop snoring.

I can't sleep. Normally, when I'm sleepy, Dawnkit will be right beside me, pressed up against me. I liked it. It was warm.

She doesn't anymore though.

She tells me that I'm getting too old for cuddling, and now that Lionkit's finally out of the nursery, she doesn't have to protect me anymore.

At least now I won't have Lionkit standing on my tail every morning to 'wake me up'. He liked doing that. I think it was his favourite part of the day.

 _My_ favourite part of the day is when I wake up. Dawnkit will be right beside me. She likes to groom me. I think it's because she likes cuddling with me, because when she grooms me, she always leans really close. I like it, too, because she's so big and warm.

When she's finished grooming me, I groom her, and then we leave the nursery to get something to eat.

After eating, we talk and play.

Dawnkit still hates butterflies.

I don't know why, either.

I think it's because she couldn't catch the butterfly. I mean, even _I_ can't catch the butterfly, and she's lying right across from me.

Dawnkit _is_ a butterfly.

Eventually, I fall asleep again- I don't know how, because Rowankit's snores were _really_ bothering me- and I _dreamed_ of butterflies.

When I wake up, I have a large smile on my face. I dreamed of butterflies, and lying across from me is a _real life one_.

As I sit up, I notice that the entire nursery is empty.

I blink, as my eyes are still groggy. Maybe I'm in the middle of another dream, only this time, it's turned into a nightmare.

Dawnkit would never abandon me.

I know that for a fact because she's always around me. She _likes_ to be around me. And I like to be around her.

Dawnkit would never abandon me because she loves me.

I know I'm right. But it still doesn't explain why the entire nursery is empty.

I can hear voices outside, so I get to my paws and head to the entrance. I have to squint at the sunlight that stings my eyes, and when my vision clears, I realise that the sun is already very high in the sky.

I feel confused for a second. If I overslept, then why didn't Dawnkit wake me up? She _always_ does. Right when the sun rises and the warriors are already awake and active.

She said it was to get 'first dibs' on the food.

I don't feel hungry at all.

Or tired.

"Stormkit?" I hear a voice call. "Stormkit! It _is_ you! I was getting a bit worried when I noticed that you were still asleep. Did you have a rough night, honey?"

It's my foster-mother, Rosefire, and she's staring at me with kind eyes. They seem understanding, but I know that she had a vicious temper when provoked.

How can I possibly tell her that I overslept because Rowankit kept me awake all night?

She'll laugh.

I swallow under her probing gaze, then say, "Um, no. It was… was fine!"

Rosefire just sighs. "Stormkit… _sweetie_ ," she tries. "You're not a very good liar. Was Lionpaw being mean to you again?"

I squirm. "No," I answer, my voice expressionless.

I hate it when she asks things like this.

"He was!" Rosefire cries, and I flinch at the volume. "If he dares to hurt my baby-!"

"Rosefire!" I shout. "Stop!"

She does, and stares at me incredulously, as if she can't believe what I just said. But I do. I _do_ believe what I just said.

Nothing is wrong.

"Really, Mum," I assure, my lips quirking upwards in what I hope is a reassuring smile. "Nothing's wrong."

It works.

"Okay," she answers thickly, swallowing hard, as if something large is stuck in her throat. "Okay. If you say so, baby. You know I love you, right?"

I just stare at her. Cats have stopped to stare at us, at the scene we've made. So, in reply, all I do is nod.

Rosefire gazes at me for a few more moments, _and her eyes are shining with moisture_. She looks like she wants to cry. Why does she want to cry?

"Okay," she says. She takes a deep breath and lets it out through her nose, and it makes a sharp whistling noise upon escape.

 _Okay._

That's her favourite word. _Okay_.

"Okay, Mum," I answer, testing out the word on my tongue. _Okay_. Everything is _okay_.

No.

I just need Dawnkit.

"Sweetheart, have you eaten yet?" Rosefire prompts.

"Huh?" I snap to attention.

Her eyes soften. "Baby, I asked if you were hungry."

My stomach feels empty. She's right. I _am_ hungry. But I won't eat without Dawnkit.

I look at the ground. "I want Dawnkit," I say softly.

A flash of realisation crosses her face. "Oh, Stormkit," she answers gently, as if I'm a tiny kit needing attention. I'm not though. I'm big and strong and ready to be an apprentice. But when I was younger, a tiny kit, I always looked up to her for guidance, because she's my mother, and I love her. Her voice always soothed me, and it still does.

It makes me wish that Rosefire was my _real_ mother.

But the tone of voice she's using right now means that something's up. _Something's happened_.

"What?" I ask instantly. "What's happened?"

"She thought that you were tired," she explains carefully, as if I were going to accuse her for something and yell at her. But I _wouldn't_. Why _would_ I? "And so she left you to sleep. She's already eaten and is playing with some of the apprentices."

"With who?" I ask just as carefully.

"Oh, um…" A pondering look passes Rosefire's face. "Honeypaw, and, um, Lionpaw, I think."

 _Lionpaw_. He used to be Lionkit, and he hated me. Now, he's an apprentice, and he's _playing_ with Dawnkit.

I don't like it. Why does _he_ get to play with her, and not me? I don't even _feel_ tired.

Why did Dawnkit leave me?

"Why did Dawnkit leave me?" I ask blankly.

Rosefire is silent, as if she can't believe what I just said. I don't know why. Why does she look so incredulous?

"Stormkit," she says, her voice low and incredulous and _disbelieving_. "I thought we had gone over this already."

Have we? I have no idea what she's talking about.

"No one," she says soothingly, "and I mean _no one_ , is going to leave you."

At her words, my eyes pool with something foreign. There's an aching pain in my chest, and it pulses and _burns_ whenever I take a breath. There's a huge lump in my throat.

I squeeze my eyes shut, take a deep breath, and _swallow_ the lump.

"Nothing's wrong!" I say sharply, so sharply that my voice is almost a yell. "Nothing! _Never!_ "

Nothing is _ever_ wrong. Not when it's just me and Dawnkit. When it's just me and her, everything's alright.

"Stormkit… sweetheart." Rosefire looks baffled, but she takes a step forward, her face taking on a gentle mask of concern.

"No!" I shout, my voice taking on a shrill tone. "No, stay away from me!"

Rosefire blinks once, swallows, _and then she backs away_.

I hear her sigh. Then she speaks. "Stormkit, she's only with the apprentices," she says soothingly. "She hasn't left you, or, StarClan forbid, _abandoned_ you."

But why is she with the apprentices? She left me alone in the nursery.

She wasn't there when I woke up.

"I know that," I answer carefully. "Dawnkit loves me. I love her."

"She loves you very much," Rosefire promises.

I nod. "We'll be together forever."

Rosefire's eyes widen ever so slightly, and she looks like she's been slapped. I swallow another lump. Was it something I said? Did I make her sad?

"Are you okay, Mum?" I ask worriedly, peering up at her with huge, sad eyes. "Was it something I said?"

Rosefire freezes, before shaking shaking her head furiously. "No, no, no! Nothing's wrong, Stormkit! Everything's fine, baby."

I just eye her doubtfully. "If you say so," I say doubtfully.

Rosefire smiles reassuringly. "Everything's fine, Stormkit. Now, why don't you go and find Dawnkit and play with her? I'm sure she misses you very much."

I nod. "Okay."

I miss Dawnkit. I love her. She was mine, and we would be together forever.

Dawkit said so herself, and Dawnkit never breaks her promises.

I smile happily, though my mood is dampened slightly.

Why had I seen fear in Rosefire's eyes?

She loves me. So why had I see such sickening fear in her eyes for a single moment?

At least Dawnkit looks happy to see me when I find her.

She's playing with the older apprentices, even Lionpaw. Why would she play with Lionpaw? He doesn't like anyone. I think the only cat he likes is himself.

He sneers when he sees me, though I don't know why it's such a big deal. He sneers at me every day when I exit the nursery with Dawnkit. He may be big and huge and golden, but so is Dawnkit. She's the nice one, and she _always_ smiles at me when she sees me, unlike Lionpaw.

Lionpaw just calls me ugly. But he always calls me ugly. Dawnkit says I'm pretty though, so whatever Lionpaw says doesn't affect me. I know it should.

It affects Cinderpaw.

Cinderpaw is just as small as me, with a wide, thin face and bright amber eyes. He snivels a lot, or at least, that's what Lionpaw says.

He looks at Dawnkit a lot, I noticed. His eyes get very wide when she pads passed him.

He is standing next to Dawnkit, gazing up at her with those very wide eyes of his. I just stare at him. Doesn't Dawnkit find his staring uncomfortable?

"It's the freak," Lionpaw announces smugly.

Dawnkit stiffen. She turns, throwing a glare to Lionpaw. "Don't call him that," she snaps. "I love him."

Lionpaw looks confused. "But he's ugly, Dawnkit," he says. "And tiny."

Dawnkit huffs. "So?" she questions. " _I_ think he's beautiful. Besides, what's wrong with being small? Cinderpaw's small."

"You're too pretty for the _both_ of them," Lionpaw pouts. "Stormkit's freaky, and Cinderpaw's snivelly."

"They're _both_ beautiful!" Dawnkit snaps furiously, putting her face close to Lionpaw's. "And don't you dare say otherwise."

"I... I think you're beautiful, _too_ , Dawnkit," a tiny voice pipes up shyly.

My eyes widen. Dawnkit turns her head and looks down at him with a soft smile of her own.

"Thanks," she says quietly.

"I-I hope, when you become an apprentice soon, that we can be friends," Cinderpaw stumbles. "I... I really like you, Dawnkit," he blurts.

Dawnkit's eyes, which are normally so hard and _blue_ , soften. That's not right. Her face isn't supposed to do that. She's only supposed to look like that for me.

I look over at Cinderpaw. He's peering up at Dawnkit with those huge amber eyes of his, beseeching her to accept his offer. But she can't! If she does, then she'll leave me. She can't leave me. I love her, and she loves me.

I feel panic crawl up my throat, and I have to swallow a huge lump in my throat. My yes prickle with an unfamiliar wetness.

Dawnkit was _my_ Butterfly. She couldn't leave me. We were supposed to be together forever. She _promised._

Dawnkit nods at Cinderpaw. "Of course we can be friends," she begins kindly. "Cinderpaw-"

"No!" I snap, my eyes blurred from that unfamiliar wetness.

Dawnkit freezes, then turns and gives me a cautious look. "I'm sorry?" she questions.

I glare up at her. " _No_ ," I repeat, my voice hard. "You're not allowed."

"Not _allowed_?!" Dawnkit demands, her voice just as hard as mine. "What are you, my _mother_ , Stormkit? I may love you dearly, but that doesn't give you the right to dictate who or who I don't talk to! Do you understand?!"

"But you promised!" I schreech back. "You promised we'd be together forever, and now you're leaving me for- for _him_!"

My eyes pool with that strange wetness, and Cinderpaw pipes up angrily, "Dawnkit's right! You don't have the right to decide if we're allowed to be friends or not!"

I shut my eyes, feeling confused. "But... but Dawnkit's mine," I murmur.

Cinderpaw freezes. He stares at me, his eyes flickering like amber ice. "Dawnkit is _not_ an object t be owned," he says slowly, as if I'm stupid, but I'm not so why would he think that? "If you really think that Dawnkit belongs to you and is not allowed to be friends with anyone _but_ you, then you're sick and twisted."

"Cinderpaw!" Dawnkit snaps, and I flinch. Does Dawnkit still like me? Cinderpaw just said I was mean. We're not supposed to be mean to the ones we love. That's what Rosefire always told me. "That's enough."

Cinderpaw's face crumples into a mask of hurt. "Why would you let him speak to you like that, Dawnkit?" he demands, his brow furrowing in concern.

"Because he doesn't know any better," Dawnkit answers softly. "He's on a whole different level than us. He doesn't understand that you only want to be friends. He thinks you're trying to take me away from him."

"He is, Dawnkit," I say softly. "You promised, remember?"

Dawnkit just gazes at me sadly, shaking her head. "I'm not going to leave you, okay? I thought you knew me better than that. No one's going to leave; not me, not Rosefire, _no one_."

Cinderpaw stares hard at me. Then, he scoffs and shakes his head, muttering, " _Crazy_."

By now, Lionpaw is completely forgotten. But he looks at me, his face slack and frozen, his eyes flashing with fear.

"So freaky," he mutters.

Dawnkit cuffs him over the head. "Don't say that," she hisses. "You'll hurt his feelings."

Lionpaw scoffs. "How can you _not_ be afraid of him after- after _that_?" he demands, waving his paws in the air.

"Because I love him," Dawnkit answers simply. "He doesn't know any better. He's only a baby, really."

"Well," Lionpaw says loudly. "When you get sick of him, you know where to find me."

I flinch at his words, but Dawnkit snaps, "I already said I'm not leaving him!"

Lionpaw scoffs again before padding in the opposite direction, his tail flickering dismissively. Cinderpaw casts one last worried look at Dawnkit before he, too, pads away.

Dawnkit sighs tiredly and slumps beside me. I look up at her, memorising the contours of her face, drinking in the sight of her golden fur and blue, blue eyes.

"I love you, Dawnkit," I say softly.

"I know," she answers simply.

"You promised," I remind her.

She looks at me very keenly. "I know, and no one's going to leave you Stormkit," she answers. "It's _okay_."

 _Okay_. Everyone keeps saying that word. First Rosefire, and now Dawnkit.

 _Okay_. Is everything really okay?

I open my mouth to speak, but Dawnkit cuts me off. "Remember," she prods. "Forever, right?"

I freeze at her words, but I feel my lips curling upwards into a huge grin. I nod happily and she laughs.

"Together forever," she says.

 _Okay._


End file.
